WARNING: This post contains spoilers about the season finale of Game of Thrones Season 5.
Here’s a quick recap of all the main characters that featured on the season finale:
Drogon is back to the “Fuck you, mom” attitude and doesn’t move an inch when Danny tries to convince him on returning to Mereen. In search for food, poor Danny runs into another hoard of Dothraki riders. Time for her to get gang banged by another horse riding troop. Deja vu, to be honest.
2. Back in Mereen
Daario, Tyrion and Jorah engage in chit chat while waiting for Khaleesi and after Misandei brings greyworm around, everyone other than Tyrion decide that Tyrion is not fit for an expedition in the wild and that he should use his experience of governing a city by staying back in Mereen. Of course, Tyrion, with his thirst for adventure, disagrees but he is put in the place by the other three. Bonus Points: Tyrion hits on Missandei by talking in Valyrian.
3. Arya Stark
Blinding performance by Arya. Oops, spoiler. So, after she steals a face from the many faced god and she kills Meryn Trant after poking his eyes out with a knife and slitting his throat, Arya runs into trouble with the many-faced god. In a random wtf magical moment, Arya loses her sight, her eyes become ghostly and she becomes blind. Creepy as hell.
4, Stannis Baratheon
Still shaking after having to burn his beloved daughter to death, problems keep piling up for Stannis. He finds his wife, who committed suicide, hanging from a tree. Then, his soldiers are dead due to flu/whatever it is. He still marches on to Winterfell where Ramsay Boton’s army slaughter Stannis and co. Briene of fucking Tarth comes around and kills Stannis for having murdered Renly with blood magic.
5. Sansa Stark
Poor old Sansa still has that Stark luck of being so close but not close enough. As soon as she lights the candle in the tower, Briene turns away and leaves without noticing it. Anyway, after Theon mans up and pushes Ramsay’s whore over, out of the blue, Theon jumps off the wall from Winterfell hand-in-hand with Sansa Stark.
6. Jamie Lannister
Jamie has a first of its kind, father-daughter moment with Myrcella who then starts bleeding out from her nose and dies, thanks to the deadly kiss by Oberyn’s widow/gf. Fucking sandsnakes.
7. Cersei Lannister
Cersei finally admits her sins and begs for mercy. As an atonement, she is made to walk naked through the entire city all the way from the temple to the King’s castle. Extremely sad image as people though, shit, stones, what not on her and verbally abuse her in every possible way, every fan has done to her over the five seasons. I hate Cersei, but even I hated scene. Went a bit too far. On the bright side, the Mountain is back and ready to kill anyone she asks for. BONUS POINT: Cersei gets a new haircut.
8. JON SNOWWWWWWWWWWWW
He really doesn’t know anything. After being fooled by Ollie into believing his uncle might be still alive, Jon snow is stabbed by the bunch of rebels in the night watch and Ollie stabs him in the heart to deal the final blow as Jon bleeds out and dies. R.I.P Jon Snow. (Kit Harrington said that Jon is dead and he isn’t coming back, so yeah. Time to cry.)
BOTTOMLINE: RIP Jon Snow, Stannis Baratheon, Myrcella Lannister. For everyone else who died in this episode, good luck finding another job. Tyrion rules Mereen, Cersei walks naked through Westeros in her walk of shame, Khaleesi and the Dothraki horse Riders- Season 2, Sansa and theon jump off the wall (did they break their legs or what) and Arya goes blind. Too much of a depressing season 5. have to wait for another year to get more depressing episodes.